I don’t usually write or release as many blog posts so close together as I have this week. My post regarding my running goals was meant to come out much earlier this year. But I just could not get myself to write it. Maybe I was afraid because I was committing to big goals and didn’t want to put it out there and commit.
But now I am facing a real challenge in my training like I never have before. And it is really hard don me right now and I need to process it. And I process things best through writing. So feel free to skip this post. It is more for me than anything else.
I have trained hard and run big races in the past. I have failed at races before. I have been injured before. I have had big goals before.
Why am I struggling now?
I have been fortunate that when I was injured in previous years I did not have any big goals at the time. So the injury while affecting my running and training ability it did not impact my ability to complete any goals in the immediate future. I could just post setting any new violas until I was injury free.
Then I got on the road to recovery and healing. I hit a big goal on the comeback trail. And that really sparked the desire to bring big goals into existence again. I allowed myself to dream.
I started training hard. Everything felt like. It was on track. Everything moving in the right direction.
Then everything completely derailed in a moment.
It is really hard to wrap my head around this right now, because in the grand scheme of things m y injury is relatively insignificant. My injury is not “serious”. It does not severely impact my daily life. I can mostly do what I need to do day to day.
But, my injury does severely limit my ability to do the things that bring me the most joy in life. I can’t run. I recently tried to run for the first time in two weeks and I couldn’t. The pain was too severe. I was hobbling.
I can’t go for long walks, I can’t get out in nature and go for a hike. I tried hiking shortly after getting injured and that cause a degree of pain as well.
I want to get up get out and train. I want to continue to pursue my big goals. But most of all I want to get joy out of my life.
Thank god my friend Tatyana got me into cycling or I would be in a desperate state right now. My injury does not impact my ability to ride much. I can still get outside and ride. But, right now it is early spring in upstate New York and the weather conditions for riding outside are not the greatest and I have never done that type off riding, but I am learning to make it happen.
Thankfully Tatyana linked me up with another cyclist who had a big goal of riding around all of the Finger Lakes in New York. And we are planning to complete that challenge throughout the year. So at least I have a big goal to continue to work towards.
I think I am truly at my best when I am undertaking a journey towards some sort of goal.
I need to shift my goals towards cycling a bit right now I think. Maybe I can develop some other cycling related goals. I do have some in mind that have been on the back burner as I have trained and built back up my running fitness. So those might get put on the front burner now.
I am not giving up on my running goals. I am still going to run the 12 hour event. I still will push for 50 miles. But I will be more realistic about the likelihood of achieving that goal. I will still run the challenging 50 mile race I had planned for in late may. I will hope and strive for a finish, but I will face the likelihood that I will not. My goal will be to last as long as I can without getting pulled front the course for not making a time cut off.
I will try to push harder than I ever have before at this race. That is my ultimate goal. To be pushing myself as hard as I can. I need to built the mindset that allows me to push myself and I need to build the fitness that will allow my body to do it. That will allow me to reach my longer term goals and to continue to live the type of life I want to live.
I am going to shift my mindset to big fall goals. I will start to look seriously for fall races I can target. Races that will challenge me. Events that inspire me. Things I want to push myself to do. That is my new goal. This injury is not a failure. This injure is a perspective shit. Shifting my goals. Not an end to my goals. Goals change. The pursuit of goals remain. It is about the journey. And in athletics injury is often part of that journey.
My biggest challenge is to shift my mindset when it comes to my training. I for some reason LOVE running. Who knew, right. I used to be able to do the strength training / weight lifting thing. But as I fell in love with running I lost any desire to do strength training.
I have had an on again off again relationship with strength training over the years. Always trying to establish some sort of consistent routine. I did that the best when I was trying to recover from my previous injury. I was 100% committed to doing my PT exercises. I need to find that level of commitment when I am not injured so I can have a better chance of not being injured.
I want to have a true cross training and fitness routine that incorporates multiple disciplines. But I struggle with moderation. I can succeed when I am 100% Committed like I was with PT. I have done yoga every day for a month multiple times. But for some reason I struggle to do yoga weekly as part of a well rounded pursuit. The same way I struggle to do strength training regularly And even cycling in the winter months I have a hard time committing to being on the bike trainer.
I big challenge for me is that it seems I just like to be outdoors. And running is the easiest thing to do in all types of weather. If you can tolerate the weather you can run and be outside. Strength Training, Yoga, Cycling. All challenging to do outside year round. Does anyone want to build me some sort of outside exercise space. Like a glass room for winter so I can feel like I am outdoors.?
My goal going forward as has been, but maybe now even more seriously is to have a well rounded fitness routine. I want to be well rounded so I can have a well rounded life that does not have to be sidelined by injury as often. I want to be in the best physical condition I can be in.
I think it is har dot imagine a fitness lifestyle where running is not at the core. Cycling on days I don’t run. I need to build in a strength training routine that I do consistently. Yoga for stability and flexibility, strengthening and toning muscles that other disciplines do not target as well. Hiking to get out for long adventures that build the endurance and time on feet needed for ultras.
Now trying to build a plan to do this. I do best with a plan to follow. If it is assigned to me as a task I am much more likely to do it. Earlier this training cycle my running was stagnant so I self assigned me a half marathon training plan. Not because I was training for a half marathon, but because I wanted to work hard and a training plan freed my mind up to not think just do. I could focus on the work and get it done. Anyone want to design me a wholistic training plan like I am looking for?
Update: I was just able to complete a long 8+ hour / 28 mile hike on a relatively flat and level rail trail. So, hope remains. Hope is all we need.
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